Tet/New Year in Hoi-An
Travel Location: Hoi-An,Vietnam
We arrived in Danang at around midday & it was significantly hotter here than what we left in Hanoi. We were supposed to be getting picked up by Hanoi hotels mans sister who owned a tailors shop in Hoi-An. We hung around at the station as she wasn’t there wondering at what point we would just get our own taxi to Hoi-An. After waiting 20 minutes she turned up very flustered & apologetic for being late. Really nice young girl who has been given sponsorship to go to Winepeg in Canada to be a tailor there.
As it was coming up to Tet everything was closing down for the holidays, so we were taken straight to the tailors (feeling utterly skank from the train & the heat!) I’d brought some stuff to be copied so it was just a case of picking material. Was quite disappointed with the range & quality of the silk, but then they were pretty up front to say that Vietnamese silk isn’t as good as the Thais. I also had a look through things like the Next catalogue & decided on getting some shorts made as well. Jackie decided on a couple of shirts. We were then measured up & the taxi took us to our hotel to check in. We’d put our budget up for this week seeing as we were stuck here due to holidays. The additional £10 per night we were paying got us a swimming pool, really nice twin room with a bath!! The room was really nice with fresh flowers scattered all over the beds. The back of the hotel looked out onto a kind of large pond thing – very nice setting.
To say that the showers were enjoyed is an understatement! We then went for some lunch at a local place just down the road. We had some lovely home cooked Vietnamese food and some beer and all of this came to under £10. Across the road from here we noticed a spa, so after lunch we went to see what was on offer. The place did all sorts of treatments including hot stones for ridiculously low prices. 90Minutes of hot stones for instance was coming in at $12. We decided this would be a nice treat at some point during our stay so told them we would definitely be back.
That night we were asked to stop by the tailors for fittings & amazingly they had already finished a few of my clothes. My beach dresses were ready as was my skirt and shorts. The shorts are great as they are made to fit me perfectly – like this tailoring business! After our fittings we went down to the river & was surprised to see a lantern festival in full swing. Once a month Hoi-An shuts off its electricity & lights up the old town with lanterns. Id looked to see if we could coincide our visit here with the lantern festival but the date for January was back on the 9th so impossible. As it was Tet they were obviously doing another one. It looked really pretty. It looks just like the French Quarter in New Orleans & with the lanterns lighting up their doorways it was like visiting back in the 18th century. There was also a concert in full swing as well so the whole of the riverside was packed with tourists for once in the minority amongst the locals. We got ourselves onto a bridge to watch the end of the show. At this point they had a couple of old style boats out on the river dropping candle lit multi-coloured paper boats onto the water. Was a little irritated that I hadn’t brought my camera out as the tripod would have given some brilliant shots out over the river. Jackies footage will have to do though! As she was taking picture the local boys were intrigued by what she was doing so kept looking to see what was on the screen – needless to say they were most willing to pose for a picture in front of the screen! The old bridge crossing the river had been adapted into a stage with dragons & lanterns all over it. Also on the river were large lit up Chinese style dragons. The performances on the stage were mostly by the local kids. At the end of what I’m gathering was the national anthem a very tiny set of fireworks went off as well as silver glitter. They kids on the stage were amazed & very excited by this – you just wonder how something like Disney would blow them away. It was all a very simple set of performances with really simple “special effects” like lit up lanterns, candles on the water & then candles inside lanterns being let up into the sky – yet it still looked & felt really special. It just shows you that you don’t need to spend $6million on 12.5minutes of fireworks displays to amaze a crowd.
Hoi-An is a lot less hectic than Hanoi (by a mile!!), there are still loads of moped & bikes but it appears a little safer & less manic. The old town is really pretty as mentioned before with old French buildings all looking a but run down yet full of so much character.
Day 2 Hoi-An. We were to go back to the tailors for 2pm for more fittings. However after a disappoing breakfast we opted to go to the spa & ended up staying for 3 hours(more on that in a minute!) when we came back at 2.30pm to the hotel a wee chap from the tailors was waiting for us telling us we had to hurry as the shop would be closing down for Tet very soon. He then pointed at his bike out the front – no time to walk!!! So helmetless I got on the back & so began my first ever trip on a motorbike. I was only on it for less than 5minutes but I have to say I think I will look into a small bike or moped when I get home; really handy for zoomping about the streets & much much cheaper than a car (not so good in the constant Glasgow rain though?!) At the Tailors I was given all my dresses to try on & they have done a pretty decent job. I was quite excited by my dress version of my posh Beverly Hills silk halter top when Jackie arrived – I’m still amazed that she did get on the back of a motorbike in Vietnam!! All in all the Tailors did an OK job. It was totally rushed due to the holidays so there are some finishing issues, but for the price not bad. I certainly wouldn’t want them to make a suit for me though as I believe that process should take a few days if it is to be done properly. This tailors it seems specialises in fast works so is never going to give the best results. How they work is that everyone has a specialist job, so they have someone who measures, only one skilled person to do the cutting, then someone who does arms, legs etc etc
So back to the 3 hours in the spa! I have to say it was amazing yet is one of the weirdest experiences I have had! Having chosen our options (1 hour coffee & honey body scrub, 90minute traditional massage, 30 minute pedicure) we were given some lovely Vietnamese tea whilst the room was prepared. Jackie was called first so off she went. Next it was me. I was surprised a wee bit to see we were in the same room as they had called us at different times – never mind no probs there. Next the 2 massage girls stood in front of us & told us “you take off all your clothes”. Normally in Britain the girls would disappear off & come back when you are safely undr your towel – not here! I looked at Jackie and we both looked back at the girls & queried the “all the clothes off bit”. This was confirmed and added to by explaining we needed to put on their spa pants. I looked at the minuscule bundle of tissue paper fabric on the bed & told her I’d be quite happy to keep my own pants on. “no, no, you take your off & put these on”. The 2 girls must have thought us to be weird foreigners as we tried every pleading & delaying tactic to try & get undressed by ourselves (separately of course!); it worried me more that there wasn’t even a towel on the bed just some plastic sheets. I think I would have been fine if Jackie wasn’t there – we’ve known each other too long to start being happy at getting neked in each others company!! Good grief we didn’t even do the Onsen in Japan for that reason much to every ones piss taking there!! Just as I was about to take a huge deep breath & get naked Jackie grabbed for a towel on the shelves. Great Idea I thought! Shame towel was a the size of a face cloth!! So back to back we undressed ourselves – I have no idea how those pants got on. They are made for Asian girls who are quite naturally are a size zero!!! Safely averting our eyes from each other me & Jack got on our respective beds; neked accept for a piece of see though bias binding ironing fabric attached to my airse! The bed was well comfy though with a huge hole for your face to go into. I’ve never been on one of those kind before – they are way much better than the normal ones. Did feel a bit like I in a Friends episode -looking at the floor & the massage girls feet through the hole though!
So treatment 1 – coffee & honey body scrub. This stuff smelled amazing; after having he back of me scrubbed I was asked to turn over & realising she had a weird foreigner on her hands she even put the face towel over my boobs! The front half of me was then scrubbed – including the oxters & most bizzarly my boobs – it took me all my stregnth not to be be laughing hysterically like some lunatic! After all this the plastic sheeting was wrapped up over me & clipped together. I looked over at Jackie in the same situation & was reminded of Dexter where he clingfilms up his victims before butchering them!! We were left in the room in our coffee/honey/plastic coccon for around 20 minutes. Next the stuff needs to come off – its way too sticky to be rubbed off so we were escorted through to separate (made a nice change!) shower rooms. Well it was more like a footballers bathroom with beige tiling & cream plastic bath. What differentiated it from say a footballers bathroom was that the bath was half full with water – on top of which was a whole load of yellow flowers – interesting – was this for me?! The girl turned the shower on & then asked me to help her. Ai?? Help her? Help her do what?! Surely I was quite capable of cleaning myself of coffee granules?? No of course not! So there I am in the scud aside from said ironing tape pants whilst a Vietnamese woman no higher than my boobs starts to shower off my coffee & honey mix. I’ve been asked to help so here I am in this weird situation where I’ve got me & another woman rubbing coffee granules of my body & that included the boobage as well; I did wonder if at this point there was a webcam somewhere set up to some dodgy Vietnamese porn site?? After this, she then asks me to get in the bath. In posh spa pictures (& interestingly on their brochure) this kind of bath is depicted in a nice wooden or marble type affair – not an old plastic cream (or is it just dirty white?!) one! Once in the bath, the massage lady starts to massage my shoulders, she then leaves me in there with no instructions as to how long for? The plug isnt working well so slowly but surely I’m left in an empty bath filled with flower petals. I’ve still got the pants on which are now filled with coffee granules & flower petals so quickly take the opportunity to wheek them down & have a quick shower to remove as much as I can before pulling them back up again. Just as I’ve finished the massage wife comes back in and gives me a weird look as I’m out of the bath. She then tells me to take off the pants – so I really am in the utter scud as we enjoy one last shower together!! Thankfully she gives me a real proper large towel & I make my way back to the massage room for treatment 2; traditional Vietnamese massage. The plastic sheets thankfully have gone from the bed & in place are nice soft towels – lovely! So back on the bed, face back down the hole looking at the floor & I’m quite relieved to feel the big towel being put over my body – so at least I’m covered for at least the start of this treatment! The oils the girls are using smell quite fabulous; we later find out its their own mix of lemongrass oil. Having spent the last 3 months carrying a backpack & walking in non supportive shoes I think I already know this could be quite a painful massage. She starts on my legs & my suspicions are proved correct. My calves especially were really sore. Next she’s at my feet – always a personal favourite!! Jesus it was sair! I was grimacing down towards those tiles on the floor as the prodded her knuckles into the fleshy part of my feet – is this really good for you??!!
Onto the back area now & she moves the towel down to cover my legs & bum – not so fast there – most of my bum is still showing & not only that she only picked a stray bit of coffee granule from the top of my bum crack?!??!?!? For the next hour or so I was subjected to a really nice massage interspersed with sessions of random violence! Christ alive – these wee girls cant half kick the the shite out of you! In order to give them max strength they climb up & sit on your bum to do this – cant imagine this at home! I feel like I’m living through one of the Sean Connery James Bonds were he’s getting a violent massage from one of the baddies women! What makes this a Vietnamese massage is that they use a Hessian sack thing filled with seeds or something. This sack thing is heated up to just below skin melting temperature & is pummelled & scraped across you body, then left on the various points as they do in hot stone therapy. Jackie felt hers were too hot so kept wheeking them off – mine weren’t too bad – but I did have huge red marks all over my body for the rest of the day.
I did really enjoy my 3 hours of naked torture – it just would never happen in the West & I guess this is one of the experiences of travelling to far flung places – marvellous!
As these treatments are so cheap we did go back quite a few times, Jackie had a great facial, I did the hot stones which was amazingly relaxing (not such a violent massage girl that time!) amongst other things.
The only other thing to report from Hoi-An was Tet itself. We went down to the river on NewYears eve & got ourselves into a really trendy bar/restaurant which in the upstairs area had white beds as the sitting are – cool! They had a balcony overlooking the river & we sat there for a couple of hours to see if anything would happen “at the bells” The setting was really pretty looking out over the river to the old quarter. In a weird way it reminded me of the pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney with the French style house & the river in front. As it got closer to midnight the streets emptied totally of locals. There are loads of similarities here to old Scotlands New Year celebrations. In Vietnam they all celebrate the bells with their families & then for the next few days (3 day holiday here) they go & visit family & friends like first footing. Walking back to the hotel the air is totally full of incense. The majority of people here are Buddhists, so for New Year there are lots of incense offerings going on. Another thing they do is light afire & burn paper symbols to start afresh in the New Year. So as we walked home there were loads of Vietnamese burning papers at the side of the road, loads & loads of incense sticks stuck into everything & also loads of people wishing us happy New year! We also happened across the main temple where moped after moped was turning up complete with at least 4 passengers on each bike. The temple garden had a circle of candles set out on the floor obviously signifying something. Again lots of locals surrounding it & of course some idiot Western tourist standing right in the middle of it to get their picture taken. Its quite clearly something of importance & seeing as the locals were keeping to the outside it quite clearly wasn’t meant to be trodden all over. Whether or not it is irrelevant you & has no meaning you really should try & respect what is going on & behave! The main temple was open to the outside & the place as expected was packed. There were at least 20 orange robe clad monks in there with some chanting into a microphone, others dinging bells & quite randomly 1 filming the whole thing on a huge video camera (tourists & all!). Where I was standing I suddenly realised that the couple standing beside me were out cabin buddies from the Hanoi train – small world! This bumbing into people all the time happened every day in Hoi-An. First was 3 Americans who we had met at the hotel in Hanoi; not so much of a coincidence as we first saw them in the tailors, howver we bumped into the twice more on the streets. Next was a German girl who asked us about tailors in a cafe near our hotel. We saw at least once per day all over the city. So finally to see the German couple from the train again was quite weird,. Hoi-An isn’t that small!!
On New Years day itself I decided to try & photograph the plethora of mopeds carrying mostly orange trees. 3 individuals stand out in memory. The first was a chap on the back of a moped carrying a 6 foot wide pain of glass, next was an old bloke who when he realised I was taking a photo off him zoomping towards did a thumbs up & huge smile for the camera, finally was a bloke on a peddle bike pushing a massive cart full of flowers – some reaching up to 10feet high – the bloke was trying to see where he was going through thick foliage!
Took a trip tp Randys book exchange on the other side of the river. Great idea for a business. Basically he has converted the front of his house into a 2nd hand book shop that offers free exchange on similar books. He’s an old American living with a Vietnamese lady (on this front a small snapshot of what was to come in Thailand – Ting Tong Makadangdang!)
Managed a mammoth Skype chat with Nicola & the bairns & Boyle. Jackie managed to get quite drunk on the very cheap minibar and was swearwolfing away, no wonder Matt moved the bairns to the kitchen!!
Only other thing of note in Hoi-An was both Jack & I finding a few long black hairs in our stirfrys in an otherwise quite superb local restaurant – boak!!
So we left behind Hoi-An with its pretty French old quarter, its interesting neked spa, loud croaking frogs and repeat people sightings. Spent what felt like years in the various airports on our way to Bangkok, and finally arrived in Thailand in high heat/humidy at midnight.
