Seesea Travel Blog

     

Travel Location: Chiang-Mai,Thailand

So we finally made it up to Chiang Mai. Chiang Mai is usually described as Bangkok’s older, wiser, calmer (yet coffee addicted) older brother. There are three things in this town: Coffee shops (literally 5 or 6 per block), book shops (to read while drinking coffee), and massage spa’s (figure it out). So everyone get’s hyped up on coffee, reads books lightning fast and then has to recover from the stress afterwards. With the exception of going to a hill tribe, or trekking, there actually wasn’t that much to do in the city. One day we went to the Arts and Cultural Center hoping to learn something but due to the majority of Thailand’s museums being about how awesome the king is and completely omitting the 20 plus regime changes dotting their history, AND a black cat we spotted that was torturing and chasing a mouse around the museum, what we did come back with were over twenty pictures and video from the photo shoot of mouse death.

We also went to the Zoo. Now, zoos in other countries are usually awesome and depressing. You can get dangerously close to dangerous eat your head in one bite animals, but the animals are usually poorly cared for. There was one animal that was a complete asshole however. The Panda. While all the other animals are in small cages or uncared for, this bastard panda had his own special room, with misting fans and air conditioned temperatures, a special fee to get in, and a diet so exact that you couldn’t even bring in your own water for fear that you might offer it to him and over hydrate his sensitive little system. And he knew it too. When you walk in there he is. Sitting in a lay-z-boy plop right in front chomping down on some bamboo arrogant as an asshole panda funded by big Chinese money can be.

I sort of froze thinking he was gonna kick my ass for dancing so well, but then he began to massage me.

As I said before there are a lot of massage spas in Chiang Mai. One night after a considerable amount of bar hopping, Shanna, I, two Scottish dudes, and two local Thai girls went to club “Spicy” so I could teach them how to dance. In addition to all the horribly cheesy John Travolta wannabe white guys and their sarcastically excited “dates” a very weird thing happened to me. I went to the bathroom to take a break from the “dance fury” of the club and while I was peeing a guy came behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I sort of froze thinking he was gonna kick my ass for dancing so well, but then he began to massage me. I said “no thankyou” over and over but he just kept going. Since I had my hands full there was nothing I could do and I just sat, literally yelling the word no over and over again with machine gun speed for about a minute, while he just smiled and massaged. Finally I broke free and escaped back to the spicy. Later I found out that that was his job. He’s the guy that massages you while you pee. That’s his profession. I can’t wait till they sell coffee in the bathrooms too. I hope his parents are proud.